Horrible Boss

"You're telling me more than a million people have listened to This Is Your Sword? 

One of my favourite ways to waste time is to pick an artist on Spotify and try to guess what they're most popular songs are. No, I don't get out very much. Anyway, it wasn't until last week that I realised that not only can you learn an artist's Top Ten, you can also see the play count for all their others songs too. Maybe everyone knew you could do that, it was new to me. And so I disappeared down another rabbit hole from which I may never escape. Because as interesting as it may be to know the ten most popular Bruce Springsteen songs, there's far more fun to be had discovering what the least favourite songs on every Springsteen album is. And, as a result of that research, we can confidently say that we know what his least popular song of all is.

Before we get there, let's take a look at his Top Ten. Maybe no surprises at the most popular but would you have guessed that I'm On Fire would be in the Top 3 and Born to Run wouldn't? I would not. Although, more unscientific research on Spotify has shown that I'm On Fire is Springsteen's most covered  song so maybe it shouldn't be that much of a surprise after all. 

1. Dancing in the Dark (82,901,801 plays)
2. Born in the USA (71,768,602 plays)
3. I'm On Fire (60,297,148 plays)
4. Born to Run (59,509,252 plays)
5. Streets of Philadelphia (53,487,475 plays)
6. The River (49,425,444 plays)
7. Hungry Heart (32,528,053 plays)
8. Thunder Road (24,685,977plays)
9. Glory Days (24,249,289 plays)
10. Atlantic City (12,613,022plays)

Anyway, enough of the good stuff, let's get to the rubbish. Settle in - this is a long, dark ride!

Greetings from Asbury Park, NJ (1972)
The Angel
Just like Mary, Queen of Arkansas, from the same record, The Angel is an unlovable dirge that Springsteen, who's been know to dig deep in to his back catalogue on stage has mostly avoided since 'Greetings' came out. Played just 3 times in 45 years and that's a couple too many. Most notable for the line 'The interstate's choked with nomadic hordes ' which Bruce polished for a few years before arriving at the much better 'highway's jammed with broken heroes' in Born To Run. 

The Wild, the Innocent and the E Street Shuffle (1973)
Kitty's Back
Ok, this is a surprise. There's only 7 songs on the record but there's at least two – E Street Shuffle and Wild Billy's Circus Story that seem like more obvious candidates for least popular song on the record. Ranked 51 on Vulture's ranking of all Bruce Springsteen songs, Kitty's Back is a fan favourite that Bruce has performed twice at high-profile TV events so clearly he thinks highly of it. Yeah, perhaps it borrows a little too much from Moondance and accusations of unnecessary noodledom are probably fair but that's no reason to rate it lower than a circus song with a tuba solo!

Born to Run (1975)
Meeting Across the River
"Born to Run" is probably Springsteen's best record and there's no bad songs on it. NONE! But if you had to guess what's the least popular, it'd be this. It's the song that feels most out of place on the record, utilising only trumpet, bass and piano to tell one of Springsteen's most cinematic stories about a pair of lower-league hoodlums. Always works best when it's played in tandem with Jungleland. I don't know why. 

Darkness on the Edge of Town (1975)
Factory
Yeah, this is fair enough. Factory is probably the least interesting song - musically, at least – on "Darkness". An ode to the working life of his father's generation, you get the feeling it probably means a lot more to Bruce than the rest of us. Not a bad song - but it's no Badlands!
 

The River  (1980)
Wreck on the Highway
Another surprise here. "The River" is a sprawling double record so perhaps people just don't stick around long enough to get to the last of its 20 tracks. Certainly seems hard to credit that some of the River barroom rockers like Crush On You (the one Springsteen identifies, perhaps jokingly, as the worst thing he's ever done with the E Streeters) or I'm A Rocker would be more popular than Wreck on the Highway.
 

Nebraska  (1982)
Used Cars
About as personal a Bruce Springsteen song as you're going to get, this is still the lowest ranked song on "Nebraska". Surprised that the likes of My Father's House or Mansion on the Hill are more popular though.

Born in the USA (1984)
Darlington County
You could argue that Darlington County is the one song on this list that appears most regularly on a Springsteen setlist. He plats it all the time - and it always goes over a treat. And yet, here it is, ranked lower than Working on the Highway and I'm Goin' Down as the least popular song on Bruce's most popular record.

Tunnel of Love (1987)
Cautious Man
Bruce Springsteen can write a song about falling in love, settling down and, eventually, running for the hills and turn it into a stadium-pleasing chart-bursting smash like Hungry Heart. He can also take the same subject matter and turn it into the least popular song on a record that's not exactly shooting for the sky in terms of Spotify plays. Of course, Cautious Man isn't a bad song - but it isn't one you'd want to spend a lot of time with either.

Human Touch (1992)
Real Man
Alright, this was a tricky one to guess. "Human Touch" isn't a universally popular record and, with the exception of the title track and 57 Channels (And Nothing On) there's an argument to be made for all of the songs (especially the really not good Pony Boy) to win the prize. But, really, it had to be Real Man. It's a shocker all the way. A rotten intro that sounds like the sting from a daytime sports show, followed by the worse lyrics that Bruce has ever cobbled together. "Human Touch" was the sound of a man trying to locate a new direction. With Real Man he's never sounded more lost.  

Lucky Town (1992)
Souls of the Departed
Released on the same day as "Human Touch", "Lucky Town" was a little better received than its sibling. But not by much. The good is pretty good but the rest is below-par. Souls of the Departed belongs in that category but I think you'd have guessed that The Big Muddy was less popular than Souls. But it's not. Springsteen still occasionally pulls it out of his hat onstage but, one would have to imagine that, it's that night's toilet break song. Lyrically it's actually pretty strong and, in a way, you can see how it might have found a better home on "Magic" but, too late!, it's bottom of the "Lucky Town" table and that's all there is to it!

The Ghost of Tom Joad (1995)
Galveston Bay
"The Ghost of Tom Joad "is a slog and whether it's actually worth the effort is up for debate. After the first 4 songs it settles into a long line of songs that all sound vaguely the same. Galveston Bay is one of them. But there's loads! Best thing about this video is that the crowd are chanting for Thunder Road before he starts. Boy, did they not get what they wanted! 

The Rising (2002)
The Fuse
The Fuse is one of the standout tracks on "The Rising". Back with the E Street Band for the first time in almost 20 years (although using a drum machine on this track, sorry Max) Bruce throws everything at the wall to see what sticks. In the middle of it all comes The Fuse, something of a mood piece. Is it about a post-9/11 funeral. Perhaps. It's certainly one of the more sexually charged songs Bruce had done up to that point. And yet, more people like the truly rotten Let's Be Friends than this. World's gone mad. 

Devils and Dust (2005)
Matamoras Banks
As Bruce has said himself, Matamoras Banks might have been on "The Ghost of Tom Joad". That kinda gives you a clue of what you're in for. It's sombre, worthy and not a whole load of fun. 

The Seeger Sessions (2006)
Froggy Went A Courtin'
"The Seeger Sessions" is a racket. A glorious, wild, banjo-filled, mandolin-ridden racket. It's great and the live shows were a heap of fun. All the songs were ones that Pete Seeger had made popular and Bruce managed to put his own spin on the, But Froggy Went A-Courtin' is certainly a low-point. From the scratchy banjo intro to the somewhat lyrics it's hard to love. So nobody did.

Magic (2007)
Devil's Arcade
The last song (barring bonus track Terry's Song) on Bruce's return to E Street duty, Devil's Arcade is a brooding reflection on an injured (dying?) soldier in Iraq and his lover at home. "Magic" is one of the strongest Springsteen records of the 2000s and Devil's Arcade is a stunning closer. So what's with it's unpopularity? Beats me. 

Working on a Dream (2009)
Good Eye
"Working on a Dream" was rushed out in between Springsteen tours and was his most uneven record up to then (although more was to follow). The record includes cowboy ballads, Beach Boy-esque harmonies, Byrdsian jangle and many other nods to pop records of the late 60s/early 70s. It also includes Good Eye which isn't like any of that! In fact it's a throwback to the bullet mic performance of Reason to Believe that he performed at most of the shows on the Devils and Dust tour and A Night with the Jersey Devil, Springsteen's Halloween gift to fans a few years ago. With Bruce giving it the full fire and brimstone treatment and channeling a little bit of Tom Waits it's one of the oddest - and best - things he's put on record recently. Horribly unloved, obviously.

Wrecking Ball (2012)
Swallowed Up (In the Belly of the Whale)
Bruce always seems mystified that "Wrecking Ball" wasn't more popular than he expected. Fair enough - it's a pretty strong effort and a lot of the songs worked really well in concert. But he couldn't have been too surprised that nobody cares much for Swallowed Up. Look - there isn't even a performance video of it! It's barely even a song. Nobody likes it. Sorry Bruce.

High Hopes (2014)
This Is Your Sword
"High Hopes" was a bit all over the place. Some old songs, a few covers and re-recorded versions of things we'd already heard. And this. This... This... This abomination. It's a bit Irish, so there's uileann pipes. And he uses the word 'thee' which is obviously a red card offence. It's terrible. Jesus, just listen to it. No, don't. You'll thank me.

So there we have it - the least popular songs on all of Bruce Springsteen's records. Some surprises, for sure. And a few locked-in certainties too. But wait, you'll be asking, which is the least popular Bruce song of all. Well, with a pretty terrible play count of 188,515, the least popular Springsteen song is Real Man from "Human Touch". Which is probably fair enough - although This Is Your Sword (which, amazingly has over ten times as many plays as Real Man) get a very dishonourable mention.

If you'd like to hear a playlist of the original versions of these songs you can do so here. But, I mean, why would you?!